Arlene Shovald -- Love is Blind
Working at Differently Abled wasn’t the job I wanted but when jobs are scarce you take what you can get.
After returning home to rural Wisconsin to take care of mom, I needed a part time job, but working with the developmentally disabled was a far cry from the advertising agency I worked for in Milwaukee. Back there, business suits and three- inch heels were my work clothes. Here it was jeans and T-shirts and sometimes scrubs because working with the clients I often found myself "wearing" someone's lunch or paint from a craft project.
The adults had varying problems from cerebral palsy to profound developmental disorders, so it was challenging to say the least. At first I saw them as pathetic people with no lives and felt sorry for them, but as I got to know them each became special to me. Still, "Differently Abled" was definitely not the place I expected to see love in bloom.
Jeanette was 24 years old, obese, with beautiful blue eyes and a halo of blonde hair surrounding a face with a complexion most women would kill for. Although she was "highly functioning" she still couldn’t live independently so she came to us during the day and helped out in the office. At night she went to a foster home.
When Clark came to us he was severely depressed. His parents had passed away, and while he was quite intelligent, his cerebral palsy left him with a limp that caused him to lurch when he walked. He had endured a lot of teasing as a kid. Had he been 'normal' he probably would have been a handsome young man, with dark curly hair and beautiful brown eyes, but the palsy caused a twisting of his face that made him look odd. That's about the best I can describe it.
Clark worked in maintenance at Differently Abled and received a small salary in addition to his Social Security but aside from that he had no life. It broke my heart, knowing he had no one left who cared. Most of our clients were like that. It was so sad. Certainly there was no chance of a relationship for any of them. At least that was what I thought until the day Clark stopped at the front desk to pick up his check from Jeanette.
When her eyes met his I could feel the electricity pass between them.
After work at Differently Abled, Clark and Jeanette began taking walks in the park across the street before returning to their respective foster homes. Sometimes those of us who worked there would pack picnic lunch for their evening meal and just enjoy watching them as they held hands and walked around the park, Clark lurching forward, almost falling, and Jeannette waddling from her excess weight. They weren't a handsome couple but they certainly were an example of beauty being on the inside. In spite of being 'differently abled' they developed a relationship that was not anticipated by any of the staff.
When Clark and Jeanette announced that they wanted to get married it was no surprise, but it posed problems. What if they had children? A pair of severely handicapped individuals couldn't take on the responsibility of a family. But they solved the problem themselves. Clark asked us to arrange a vasectomy for him.
"We'd love to have babies," Jeanette said with tears in her eyes, "but we know that isn't fair, so we just want to be together."
Still, there was the problem of two developmentally disabled adults living together in a foster home. It was a unique situation for sure. But fate stepped in, as it sometimes does, and our prayers were answered. A couple offered their recently vacated 'mother-in-law' house as a home for supervised foster care of adults with disabilities. They were thrilled at the prospect of having a young couple living there.
I felt like the mother of the bride as I assisted Jeanette with picking out her wedding gown at the local Good Will store. One of the girls at Differently Abled had worked as a beautician and she styled Jeanette's beautiful blonde hair. The local costume shop donated a tux for Clark and we decorated the back yard at Differently Abled for the first ever wedding in its history.
As Jeanette and Clark embraced after repeating their vows, happy tears flowed down my face. How could I have ever thought that love was only for the beautiful and physically perfect? Love finds a way, in spite of disabilities and beauty truly comes from the inside out. Jeanette and Clark proved that. DSS
Arlene Shovald of Salida, Colorado, is a reporter and hypnotherapist, and has worked as a nurse aide. She has written three novels and many articles and stories, holds a Ph.D in transpersonal psychology and has her own private practice, Fresh Start Therapeutics LLC.
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